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Jingle Hell

by Free R Me

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about

December 26, 2020 was a very dark day for the elves at the North Pole. The covid 19 pandemic had forced those elves assigned to shelf duty, to embark on their task unprepared. Claus, Inc. had not provided them with masks, nor any means to acquire one, yet instructed them to wear one at all times while on shelf duty. It did not take Santa long to realize that something was going to need to be done about all of the infected elves returning to 123 Elf Way at the North Pole, as research had indicated nearly zero had been wearing masks.

As the elves returned from their shelf assignments, each was tested before being admitted to the Claus Kingdom. The results were terrifying. 80% of the elves were testing positive, and there was no place for them to go. No bubble for them to quarantine in. No shelves available for them to sit on while they recovered from this deadly and contagious infliction.

And so Santa did what needed to be done. He began digging a ditch just outside the candy cane walls of his compound. He then lined up each elf next to the ditch, racked his 12 guage, pointed it at their hatted heads and pulled the trigger. Each elf begged for mercy, and Santa's only response was "I told you to wear a mask!".

Claus, Inc. is now searching for replacements, and they have been consulting with the Chinese about a fresh supply of workers.

lyrics

Jingle Hell - Copyright December 16, 2020 - ANO Publishing, LLC - All Rights Reserved (orig lyrics and music by James Lord Pierpont 1857)

Smashing through the woes
Of the messed up covid days
For vaccines we go
How much will we pay

Hey hey hey

Sales the Pfizers ring
Making dollars might
What ammunition will you bring
To keep us safe tonight

Oh

<chorus>
Jingle hell
Virus swells
Santa killed an elf

For sitting
Masklessly
On somebody's shelf

Jingle hell
Virus swells
Santa killed an elf

For sitting
Protection free
On somebody's shelf

<verse 2>
Struggles far and wide
No relief in site
Politicians bicker bout
Our money in spite

Fight fight fight

Of their taken oaths
To protect our kind
Corporations tell them what
To do and they don't mind

Oh

<chorus>
Jingle hell
Virus swells
Santa killed an elf

For sitting
Gay mask free
On somebody's shelf

Jingle hell
Virus swells
Santa killed an elf

For sitting
Protection free
On somebody's shelf

<verse 3>
It's time to make a stand
Stop the love divide
If we do I'm telling you
We can turn the tide

Hi hi hi

Toward a world of grace
It's not that hard to do
Simply put your hate aside
And show compassion true

Oh

<chorus>
Jingle hell
Virus swells
Santa killed an elf

For sitting
Gay mask free
On somebody's shelf

Jingle hell
Virus swells
Santa killed an elf

For sitting
Protection free
On somebody's shelf

>SHOTGUN BANG>
<SANTA VOICE>Ho Ho Ho! I told you to wear a MASK!

credits

released December 25, 2020

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Free R Me Washington, D.C.

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